Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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