I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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