so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
