But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
