hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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