he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize