just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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