i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
