I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize