i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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