Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize