So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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