so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
