your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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