I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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