I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
