We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize