I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
