A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
