I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dick very happy bro
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
