Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize