Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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