Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Alive.
So much puke
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
