The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
