I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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