I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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