I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
