the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
