Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
