theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
