you traded sex for a burrito?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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