He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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