One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
