Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
