Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
