there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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