maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize