WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
