my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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