In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well I just put wine in my tea
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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