She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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