The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize