i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
