Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
