So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
