Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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