And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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