what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
