That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
