i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
high people should be assigned attendants
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
