We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
