last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Buhtt sex?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
