im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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