I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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