I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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