it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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