Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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