Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
