my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
