This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
