i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
