We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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