Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
