My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
