I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
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He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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