Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
