he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
