just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
