yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we're making bets on your personal life
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
