i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
