you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
